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D day was over a decade ago. I never gave my wife a timeline. I’m trying to come up with one now and the dates are hazy after those times but I remember everything. I want to know what would make a good timeline. Obviously, when where who are parts that will be included but I know it’s more than just names and dates. I want to be as thorough as I can with intentions in anything else you might want to know. I would appreciate any advice on what should be in there. Maybe something that you would have wanted to know or something that you said that meant something to your spouse. I am an open book. I just look for help and perhaps out of format and what to include thank you.

What does your BS want to read?

I'd do my best to write: Who - what - when - where - how - what I felt and thought while doing the what - what I felt and thought after doing the what.

With a little luck, once you start, the memories will come back.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:07 PM, Saturday, May 9th]

A good start might be to do the timeline as accurately as you can based on what you know.
Like the when where and who part.
But… Make a clear definition between what you KNOW and what you are guestimating. Like, anything you are guessing can be underlined or bolded to differentiate it from what you know is factual.

1/2/24 Jane Fonda at the Marriott (might have been Hilton), spent the night and we had sex.

Then check with your phone provider if you can get phone-logs that far back, same with your bank (I can go 10 years back on my online banking account) or credit-card statements to corroborate what you can. For example: if you have a charge for the 1,2 or 3rd on January 24 to Marriott, you can deduct that’s the where.

Be aware that memory is a terrible place to store details.

If you remember everything but not exact dates and/or order. Maybe use one of the old school methods of studying for a test and put all those items in word bubbles and then start over organizing them. That may help your memory in getting the times and dates sorted.

When it comes to disclosure there is no such thing as less is more. More is more. Write down everything you remember. You can always put trivial details in footnotes and explicit details in end notes or even a separate document, so that she can control how much of that she sees. If you brain dump everything then you can truthfully say there are no more secrets about the A.

Thanks for your ideas