Partner and his work colleague

Where do I begin?i wish I had found out about this site a lot sooner! So I’ve been with my partner for 20 years 6 children from 1 year-18 years. I thought everything was okay apart from my partner’s behaviour was a little mean and arguments from around February when his affair started, but never imagined it would because he was cheating. So in April we had an argument and he confessed to seeing someone at work I walked out came back we argued and he apologised said he made it up because I kept asking if there was someone else. Stupidly I believed him also because the girls 12 years younger than him. Come mid may I knew something was up and asked him that’s when he confesses that he had just kissed his work colleague a couple times but he’d been caught at work and was under investigation. Again I stupidly believed it but things weren’t adding up still. I asked him to use an air tag on his keys and use the find my phone on his which he did. On one day the 2 were in different locations. I asked what was going on again he blagged it and I stupidly fell for it. Come June he’s off work hands me the post and I get a letter with a photo of the girl from work telling me he’s having an affair. I think she sent it he thinks someone in the office sent it. At this point I’m still trying to make our relationship work. So I messaged her on Facebook and ask what’s going on she tells me the same story he has they had only been talking nothing more. Then the following week I’m looking through his work phone and see an email off who he’s accused of sending the letter mentioning Snapchat and the girl in question. So I ask to see his phone. He gave it me with Snapchat typed in the App Store he was about to download it. I’m able to download it but he quickly grabs and deletes everything. So turned out they had been communicating that way. I then went to her house to find out what’s happening. Turns out they had been having sex since January. He since has been slowing telling me about it. They were in a proper relationship he’s met her family and all sorts. He’s been telling her we weren’t together anymore, he was sleeping on the sofa and only living with me for the kids, which was all lies we’ve been living a normal family life. He was seeing her every night for around an hour and when he was on call out at work. Never weekends because he couldn’t get away. I’ve made it very clear to him after how poorly he’s treated me I was wiling to give it a go. He’s saying since I went to the house he hasn’t contacted her which I don’t believe one minute. I’m pretty certain he’s still seeing her but because I don’t have any physical proof he won’t admit. Since I’ve been to the house we fell out one day and he turned off his location, he kept telling me he was to busy to turn it on anyway I told him to send me a photo of his satnav so I could see where he was and again this was near to her house! I know for certain he met her when the air tag and phone were in different places as he confessed. He says he can’t get into Snapchat but this week as I swiped to see his call log I saw her name but when I clicked onto the call log it disappeared obviously because he deleted Snapchat which he’s denying. I tuned his location on again this week and saw he was around the corner from her house. He said it was for a job but wouldn’t send any proof of the job. I’ve asked him to leave the job he’s been offered another job at the start of the week but hasn’t accepted it. I’ve not told any of my family or friends as I’m to embarrassed to. I always said I’d never stick around if it happened and I’m still here. I’m hoping by posting this to you all I can get some good advice instead of driving my self crazy. Typing it out and reading it back I’m starting to think to myself what on earth are you doing? It’s clear as day he’s still messing around. I really want to believe him that he’s not but I’ve got this feeling I’ve had since before he confessed.I do really want this to work out not just because I love him but for my kids. Then on the other side I’m thinking I deserve better than this, I miss the person I though he was so much

5 comments posted: Sunday, July 13th, 2025