sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:44 PM on Sunday, September 20th, 2026
Yikes. I forgot the most important aspects of IC.
It works if you find a competent IC AND, more important by far, if there is something you want to change about yourself.
If you think you're stifling yourself - I do, but you may not agree - a good IC can help.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:45 PM, Sunday, September 20th]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 4:57 PM on Monday, September 21st, 2026
To follow up on what 1stWife said,
Ask yourself WHY you want to Reconcile w/ this man-child. You sound miserable. You have another kid to parent — he’s not a partner.
You have a young son and a 12-year-old daughter that need you and have been through the trauma of their father's emotional abuse (calling her a liar when she pointed out the holes in his stories), his abandonment, and now the chaos that his return has brought under your roof. They need stability and they need parent who is sane and focused on their well-being... and they won't get that while you remain married to your WH. He isn't giving you any other option.
Not that it matters why he returned, but I read in your bio that he came running back after you took your money out of the joint account and sought child support. I think he realized that it would be cheaper and more secure for him to remain married to you than to attempt a new life with his mistress. It's also likely that the thrill of the affair wore off once they were living together and were going through the boring, predictable motions of everyday life.
[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 5:02 PM, Monday, September 21st]
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
